thankful.

Before I get going with my long list of complaints, my 'why me?'s, and my 'you don't understands', I want to put something else out there.  While I've endured a lot of heartache and soul-searching over the past two years, I have a good life and have been granted much to be thankful for.  I believe it's incredibly important to stop every once in awhile (and I probably should do this more frequently than every once in awhile) to reflect on what's going well and all of the reasons that I really am lucky.  Yes, I'm lacking the one thing in my life that I long for more than anything.  But most other aspects of my life are wonderful, and many people out there can't say that.

I'm grateful that...

I have the most amazing husband who loves me beyond measure.  He is kind, attentive, giving, patient, and gentle.  We might not always get each other -- and this infertility experience is sometimes trying on our relationship -- but never do I question his love or devotion to me.

My marriage is strong and unwavering, and we don't have to question our resistance to challenges.  I know how lucky I am here.

I have a younger sister who listens.  She loves me and shows it.  Her touch is kind and comforting, and she never lets me forget that she's always with me even though she's far away.

I have a mother who has modeled independence and strength to my sister and I and who continues to show us the importance of change and growth in ourselves.  And to be held by her today is just as comforting as it was as a child.

I have a supportive and loving family -- both my own and my husband's (who I do consider to be mine as well).

I have girlfriends who know me inside and out, who will laugh and cry with me, and who never let me feel completely alone.

I have had the opportunity to earn an incredible education and continue to do so.  This will provide me with so many more opportunities for success in the future.

I truly have everything I need.  Love, support, a sense of self.  A roof over my head and good food in my belly.  I don't have to want -- well, except for that one important thing.

I am healthy and able, and I must remind myself of how lucky I am in this regard more regularly.  My body works (on a daily basis anyway).  My mind works (or so I like to think...).

My sweet puppy can bring me so much comfort each day and that I can have the opportunity to love her.

I have the freedoms to make choices for myself and for my family.