I got home a little after 10:45 p.m. on the night of the 29th. The night J and I would learn if we had achieved what we wanted more than anything in life.
As soon as I stepped in the door, I dropped my bags and hugged him. It had been so hard to concentrate through class, to keep my stomach settled, to know that this most-anticipated message was in my pocket.
We looked at each other and decided to listen -- even though I think we almost preferred not to.
I hit play on the message, and my nurse didn't sound joyful. I knew she wasn't delivering good news. She said, "I wish so badly I had better news to deliver."
And it was over. It was all over.
I started nodding my head quietly, tears starting to form. I had prepared myself for this because I "didn't feel pregnant," whatever that means. But I didn't feel it.
J put his arms around me, and the tears started to fall.
The message ended, and I just kept nodding. And it was over.
It was over, and I had to go to bed because I had to leave the house at 6:30 the next morning to observe a high school teacher in another city. Life was going on as usual, even though I wasn't ready.
It was over, and that was all.
No comments:
Post a Comment