I had my appointment about a week and a half ago now. It was the big appointment I'd been waiting and waiting for -- where they'd do my mapping and give me the run-down on my schedule. I had anticipated and anticipated it, and then suddenly it was here (after much frustration that you can read about in recent posts),
When I got to my doctor's office, I was welcomed with the same warmth that I always was. I was instantly relieved to be there and so eager to learn everything that was to come during my appointment. My wait was short, and when it was my turn to be seen, they took a full IVF work-up of blood work that will test for all kinds of STDs and other viruses ... They took quite a bit of blood, but I'm so used to it by now that I actually felt excited to be sitting in that chair with the nurse and a needle in my arm. Progress!
I spent a few more minutes in the waiting room until the infertility nurse and RE could see me for my ultrasound, but it wasn't long at all. They took me back and had me change and prepare for the ultrasound. They performed a transvaginal ultrasound to take a look at my system and measure the depth of my uterus and of my cervix, as well as to note the shape and curve of my uterus (something I had never considered before). They were pleased that there wasn't an extreme curve to my uterus, so I was pleased, as well -- not really knowing why that was such a great thing until I asked. Apparently the less curve you have to your uterus, the easier it is for them to transfer the embryos via catheter on the big day. Yay for not a lot of curvature!
They counted the number of follicles I had going on each ovary and seemed really shocked to see as many as they did. Remember, I had 27 cysts when I was diagnosed with PCOS -- no dominant follicle(s). So when they revealed their surprise, I was totally freaked. The doctor even mentioned that he couldn't believe I had as many as I did after being on Lupron, the pill, and Metformin. In my mind, I was thinking everything I had been through wasn't working. I was afraid I couldn't move forward. I was afraid we would have to try something else, or they were going to tell me this was the end of the road.
They continued on with the actual mock embryo transfer which involved them actually threading the catheter through my cervix and extending it all the way to the fundus of my uterus (back of the uterus). The catheter literally poked me in the back of my uterus. (This was just for measurement purposes and they will definitely not poke me on the actual day of transfer.) My nurse kept her hand on my belly during the whole procedure letting me know it was normal to feel crampy or to feel painful twinges. She said some girls have a harder time with it than others. I did completely fine the entire time. I didn't experience any cramping or pain, and the only discomfort I felt was when I was poked in the uterus. Such a strange experience! It kind of made me feel queasy just because it was so bizarre.
All of this was over in a matter of a couple of minutes. It wasn't a big deal, they got the info they needed, and they assured me things looked good. This is when I asked about all those follicles... The nurse looked at me and said, "Oh, no, that's a good thing!" Ah! All my worry from before melted away. Apparently I had 20 follicles, and she said that's exactly what they would want to see in someone my age. I guess they just weren't expecting to considering everything my body had been to. The follicle count changes every cycle, though. So here's to hoping that it remains good news and is beneficial to my outcome.
The doctor was willing to answer any questions I had about the upcoming procedure, but between my previous conversations with him, with people who have been through it, and all of my own independent research, I felt like I understood what would happen. They assured me I'd see him again, so I didn't need to feel pressured to ask all of the questions I would ever come up with. I let him move on to the next patient so that the infertility nurse could go over everything with me.
She explained that we would go over the schedule and an overview of all of the prep info, and she would send me home with all of my consent forms and legal documents to go over with my husband. The first item she handed me was a schedule of the entire process -- every appointment was scheduled and written for me from Oct. 30th to Feb. 2nd. This made me feel so relieved after all of the stress I was put through with the most recent scheduling hiccup.
However, we received some bad news.
As I looked at the schedule, the entire procedure was set for mid-January. She began explaining as soon as she put the sheet in my hands. If you recall, we were planning to do our first IVF cycle in early to mid-December. In fact, we had to do it then if we didn't want to wait until spring. Apparently all fertility institutes that provide IVF services are required to shut down for a certain amount of time (more than a month) to inventory, clean, and follow whatever other regulations are imposed on them. Most institutes close at some point in the summer, but mine always closed beginning at the holidays and then through January. Hence, the December dates.
Apparently one week before my appointment, my nurse got a call from the institute saying they've had to completely rearrange their schedule to close in December and then open back up shortly after the New Year. This meant that three women like me who are undergoing IVF with my doctor had to be rescheduled. I didn't have a choice in the matter, and my doctor didn't have a choice in the matter.
My initial reaction was disappointment. I have been anticipating this for months and months. In my mind, I have established a schedule for the end of my semester and the holidays all based around IVF. The more I thought about it, though, the more it seemed like it might be even better for us to wait until January. And so, I am now completely at peace with it.
You see, I began my first semester as a full-time doctoral student in August. I was accepted and agreed to attend on a Fellowship back in April, around the time of my surgery when I thought we wouldn't be able to try again for about a year. I was scheduled to recover from surgery, be on Lupron for at least 6 months, bring my hormones back up with a few months of birth control, etc. Instead, though, we found out that my husband is also infertile, that I responded really well to my Lupron, and that we should pursue IVF while time is on our side -- we're 27. Knowing that I was entering into a big time of change and challenge, we decided to move forward. What other option is there? I know I can handle it, and I want this baby more than I want a PhD.
Our original IVF schedule was going to interfere with my finals, and I was going to be on all my meds starting right before Thanksgiving (a stressful time to be studying for finals and writing papers). My husband and I had purchased plane tickets this summer so that we could be in San Francisco for my aunt's wedding over Thanksgiving weekend, so I had just come to the conclusion that I'd have to cancel. We were going to have to stay home, away from our families for Thanksgiving since I wouldn't be able to travel on the meds. I was going to have to take a pregnancy test on Christmas day. I am in a dear friend's wedding on December 28th. I absolutely dreaded the thought of the significance Christmas day would hold. It would be magical if I received the best news of my life on Christmas day 2013, but I feel like it would add insult to injury to get a negative. And if I did get bad news, I couldn't imagine being functional or a good friend in the wedding.
SO. IVF in January means that my husband and I will not only be busy and occupied by the holidays and time with family leading up to the procedure, but we will also be coming off a long break from grad school for Christmas. I hope that this means I am relaxed, at peace, and ready by the time January rolls around. It will mean I can ask for massage gift certificates for Christmas, I can see my aunt marry the man she loves, my husband and I can have one last glorious California vacation, we can spend the holidays with our families, I can be a supportive bridesmaid to my friend, and I can look forward to the start of a New Year -- 2014 (I like even numbers way better, anyway). Sounds like a good plan, right?
I'm feeling optimistic today, and I like it. This could really happen. In January.
I hope and wish and pray.
