Thursday, September 12, 2013

do what you gotta do.

As we enter this less-than-three-months wait period before we begin IVF, my husband and I are really committing to being as healthy as possible.  It takes about three months for an egg to mature and for sperm to develop, so it's important that in the three months leading up to an in vitro treatment the couple do what they can to make healthy, nutritious choices.

There's really no explanation for why one IVF cycle works and another doesn't.  Just like there's no explanation for why a girl who uses recreational drugs, eats only processed foods, and hasn't exercised in years gets pregnant ASAP while a fit and healthy girl struggles with infertility.  Sometimes I feel ridiculous for going to extremes in trying to be as healthy as possible -- devotion to daily exercise, lots of fruits and vegetables, not a drop of alcohol, not a drop of caffeine, etc. -- for a perceived better shot at pregnancy.  I mean, can that really make a difference?  We've all been to WalMart, and everyone seems pretty fertile there...  In fact, most of my friends, family, and acquaintances haven't even had to consider their fitness level or diet habits and have gotten pregnant no problem.

I don't know why any of this works the way it does.  What I do know is that there is so much working against me that is completely out of my control.  If I can focus on the things I can control and make healthy choices for my body and my mental/emotional/spiritual wellbeing, then I should.  Because what's it going to hurt?

At the end of this process, I will either have a baby or a negative result.  If I am so fortunate as to be pregnant, I want to know that I made really smart choices for my baby and me and that I've created an environment that will hopefully be as healthy as possible for my child.  If I don't come out of this pregnant, I need to know that I did everything I could.  I don't want to end up obsessing over the choices I made and what they might have meant for the outcome.

So that's what I have in mind when I make choices each day.  That doesn't mean I don't eat anything I actually like, because I do.  But I try to eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, organic eggs, whole grains, and good proteins.  I allow myself to indulge in ice cream (because this isn't a time to lose weight), but I choose ice creams that use only natural ingredients.  I don't drink alcohol.  Not at all.  I refuse caffeine and instead drink a lot of water.  I go for runs and walks daily.  And I feel really good for all of these reasons.

My next step in doing all that I can to help this IVF stuff work is to see an acupuncturist.  I've read a lot of articles and studies that link IVF successes and acupuncture.  Do people get pregnant after IVF if they haven't used acupuncture?  Sure.  Do some people go the acupuncture route and not get pregnant? Definitely.  But I'm going to try it.  And if nothing else, I hope I get some quality relaxation and mind-clearing quiet out of the deal.

I'm going to do what I can to put myself in the best possible situation for in vitro to work.  It's all I want, so I'm not going to waste my shot at this.

Here's to hoping it works.

4 comments:

  1. Saw a comment you left on another blog and it almost completely mirrored my thoughts, so I had to stop by and say hello. I'm overweight and have been my whole life despite every diet and exercise plan, so sometimes I think that's the cause of all my issues. It's hard not to try crash diets I know won't work in the hopes of fixing myself somehow, even though I know being fat doesn't automatically make one infertile. I commend you for doing everything you can, but I hope you can find balance and peace with this, also. It's hard not to blame ourselves, but sometimes it's just not our fault.

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    1. Meant to actually reply to your comment and accidentally wrote a new comment... See below!

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  2. Anne, thank you so much for your comment. I am going to head over to your blog asap! I do hope to find peace with all of this. I am really kind of a control freak, and all of this infertility stuff has reminded me of how little control I have over so many aspects of my life. My husband reminds me all the time that our infertility probably has nothing to do with what I ate for lunch or how much or little I exercised, but I always focus on what I can control. Obviously we have the PCOS, endometriosis, and sperm count to blame, but I still can't help but point my finger at myself -- choices I've made, things I have or haven't done. It's completely irrational, and I'm trying to stop myself. Thanks for sharing about your own circumstances. I truly treasure every connection I make in this community of women with fertility issues -- it makes the whole experience a little less lonely. You will be in my thoughts!

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    1. I know, not blaming yourself is easier said than done. I try to remind myself that I don't blame anyone else for their infertility, so why should I blame myself? Sometimes it does help to look at my entries as an outsider would. I'm trying.. What more is there?

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